Inside Out: April 2005

Saturday, April 30, 2005

The Historical City

Yep, I'm in Malacca again.

This time around, I managed to get myself connected to the internet using a Bluetooth connection from my lap top to my mobile and utilize the GPRS data line. The connection is extremely sluggish though. *sigh*

If only I could get my hand on an EDGE phone. That'll definitely rock. :D

Anyhow, just came by to give everyone a "be-early" Happy Labour Day wish. If you're not M'sian, well ... I wish you a great weekend then. So yeah, have a nice one. :)

posted by N'Drew @ 2:13 AM | |

Friday, April 29, 2005

Blogging Roots

It started back in May 2002. I've just finished my degree, awaiting for my graduation and in the midst of my transition from being a student to becoming a working adult. At that point in time, I was contemplating of pursuing another course in Singapore or stay back in Malaysia and work. One thing for sure, I was extremely free then.

During that period of time, Tech TV was the "in" thing for geeks like me and back then, the programs were much more interesting and informative compared to what's showing on Astro's tech. channel (Channel 13) now. It so happened that they were doing a segment on blogs, I was being a couch potato and somehow this whole blogging thingy caught my attention.

From that day onwards, I became aware of what blogging was all about and I got curious. Went online, did some googling on blogs and stumbled across some very good read. Having owned a personal journal, I started to think whether I should also start an online journal.

It's strange because what kept my from taking the plunge is also what makes me want to start a blog. I was afraid that by blogging and pouring out my thoughts to be viewed by others (especially my friends), I fear that I would speak too much and revealing things that should not have never be made known to them. At the same time, I wanted to be more open with others by sharing things that I would probably never do so in front of my friends, so that those who know me will see what I truly am. To top it off. I didn't know anyone who owns a blog then, hence I never had any idea on whether me starting a blog is a good idea.

Decision came, when I started going around looking at other blogs, particularly blogs that are maintained by local bloggers. Though M'sian bloggers then were somewhat scarced (especially good ones), I managed to find some real gems and I was inspired by them to do the same. Without thinking further, somewhere in late May 2002, I took the plunge.

It's amazing because I never thought I could stick with it for so long. More than that, I never thought I could get to know some really good online friends through blogging. Not only did they inspired me to blog, they've also taught me a lot of things through their blogs. Some even go as far as sharing their web space with me and one who allowed me to host my pictures in her "verydirtylaundry" server.

Overall, I guess my blogging experience has been a positive one thus far. Though there are times where things are crappy (such as blogger eating up my posts, weird comments by unknown weirdos, insensitive posts that got me in real life troubles etc.) in general, it has been a fun ride. I intent to continue doing this for a long time. Sometimes, I wish I was better at this you know ? Smart, funny, articulate, creative, inspiring, engaging and exciting. Well, that being said, I'm glad I am who I am and what became of this blog so far. Afterall, it's all these that makes this blog unique yah ? :)

So, what makes you take the plunge ?

posted by N'Drew @ 3:16 PM | |

Thursday, April 28, 2005

To Expound Or Keep It Simple

I have a question in mind. That being said, the gesture of posting this question is nothing more than a hint of curiousity gathered from how I feel as to whether other people have the same answers to my question. What came across my mind prior to just posting the question online and hope that someone would answer it was the struggle of whether I should do it without making any clarifications or claims as to why I am posting such a question (to expound) or just post the friggin' question in a one liner and hope for some answers (keep it simple).

Why the unnecessary dillema ? Well, that's because I might run into the possibility of being seen as just posting an entry for the sake of posting. Worse than that, people might make an example out of me because of my unnecessary one question post that is probably irrelevant to most people, too menial to require an answer, definitely wasting the time of others who came by and wasting precious kilobytes on Google's blog servers.

With so much talk on blogging lately, it's quite scary to think that perhaps, other bloggers may just take this post as a prime example of "Blogging No-Nos". Something that goes along the lines of "see, this is a good example of posting just for the sake of posting *insert links of multiple blogs, one of which will be pointing exactly to this blog and this post." *Yikes*

Hmm ... I'm not saying that I have a lot of people reading this blog. Chances are, this post will probably go unnoticed amidst the vastness of the great blogosphere. So why the hassle of wanting to post that question online in the first place ? Isn't it better to just keep it to myself and move on with life ?

First and most appropriately said, this is my blog. I would like this blog to be able to archive some of the things that went on in my mind from time to time. That's what a personal journal should contain right ? (In this case, an online personal journal). Personal thoughts, experiences, rants, ideas, questions etc.

So I have this nagging question in my mind, do I really have to quote all the relevant sources, link to all the relevant sites and make a case out of it before I ask ? If I do any less of it, do I come across to be someone less fluent, less articulate and somewhat less learned ?

So yeah, err ... back to the question, to expound or to keep it simple ? What say you ? :P

posted by N'Drew @ 12:11 PM | |

Friendster Blogs

I've mentioned this before but I'm gonna say it again. Friendster made a very good move by implementing a blog feature in their services. Perhaps it's just me but I've always wondered whether some of my personal friends have a blog of their own. Especially those that I don't always have a chance to keep in touch with. I mean, I can't find of a better way to update my friends as to what's going on with my life every now and then besides blogging.

You know, there are times when someone you knew just came to mind and you're wondering how is that person doing. How nice if we could just drop by their blog and check out what have they been up to lately and all. Its also a great way to stay in touch with each other and let everyone knows about some of the things that you go through so that your friend can share your joy or your burdens. That being said, there's definitely more to blogging than what I've just mentioned. Different blogs were created for different purposes. Just that my blogging experience points me to a slightly more personal and somewhat less exciting side.

Anyhow, Friendster is generating quite a buzz with their blog features. I'm already seeing more and more of my friends starting their own blog due to this and I'm somewhat glad to know that the local blogging community is finally gaining momentum albeit a bit late. I have a feeling that there's gonna be more interesting things going on in the local blogging scene with the sudden surge of new bloggers. I wonder if the new ones and the slightly more experienced bloggers will go well with each other. Hmm ...

Anyhow, if you're new to the blogging scene and you're reading this. Welcome to the blogging world and I hope that you will enjoy your new found netizenship in the blogosphere. :)

posted by N'Drew @ 1:10 AM | |

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Blogging Pressure

No Pressure Blogging

A good read on blogging pressure. Especially if you're a popular blogger. :P

posted by N'Drew @ 4:37 PM | |

My Compy Table

Yep, it's filled with stuff given to me by friends. I wonder why do I get so many soft toys though. Anyhow, I'm glad that most of them are from my female friends. I'll totally freak out if a guy starts giving me soft toys.

Eeekkk ... *hair standing*

posted by N'Drew @ 12:34 AM | |

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

You Happy, I Happy

I was talking to a friend earlier today and she commented on how I've been a melancholy person lately. I didn't realize that I've been posting quite a number of negative entries on this blog till she told me about it. *smacks head*

To be truthful, things aren't really that great with me lately. You know, the usual stuff about being unemployed and all. In fact, I'm so sick of the word unemployed, I cringe everytime I mention it. On the other hand, things aren't that bad either. It's just ... stable and somewhat mundane.

I hope I don't bore you to death with this post (or maybe the damage has already been done) but I'm just here to say that I'm okay. :)

I'm still somewhat the same person I am when I had a job. I'm still dying to have an opportunity to pursue my dreams, I'm still paranoid about having people I know reading my blog and I'm still single (though not desperate anymore). :P

I guess somewhere along the way, I've learned to enjoy the company of good friends and the freedom of being a single. Instead of trying to find joy in having a girlfriend, I take delight in the many simple things in life. Music, worship, friends and also good food. :D ~~~

Knowing that my friends are doing well in life never fail to draw a smile on my face. Especially when one cheeky bugger keep trying to hide that he got himself a girlfriend and was exposed in the end. Haha ... I wonder if Shark still read this blog. :P

Besides that, I'm especially glad to know that:-

- Edmund and his family are doing okay in U.S. Ethan is just so cute.

- Another close friend of mine who got married last year "Ah Mun" is now pregnant.

- Bear got promoted to manager and is recovering well from her chicken pox.

- IceD is earning big bucks in S'pore. (Old news but I'm still very happy for him)

- Piggy also got promoted (or so I heard). :P

- And a few more that I don't think I want to mention it here.

So yeah, the fact that things aren't really going too well with me doesn't really put me down as long as I know that there are people who still cares. I don't expect any sympathy but I do hope that none of you will end up like me. Hehe ... Anyhow, all these are just temporary, I got a feeling that better things are coming my way. So for those who's rockin', Rock On ! I'll be up and about in no time and I'll join you all in the ranks of the employed soon okay ? :)

posted by N'Drew @ 4:48 PM | |

Monday, April 25, 2005

Bad Parking

Sometimes people are just plain inconsiderate. The parking space is more than sufficient for the person to park her car without obstructing traffic, yet she is making it difficult for everyone. More than that, the road is actually a one way street and she have to drive from the opposite direction, totally against the traffic flow.

Anyhow, due to her extremely poor parking skill (she didn't even try to park her car correctly in the first place). When she got back to her car, me and my friends were laughing so loud I guess she must've felt that we were laughing at her.

Hahaha ...

posted by N'Drew @ 11:26 PM | |

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Some Stuff About Blogging

They say a blog is meant to be read by others. True. If you don't want your blog to be read by other people, then don't blog because it is illogical to post your journal online and expect no one to read it. This also applies to having comment box and tag-boards in your blog. If your blog have a commenting system and tag-boards, then you're giving people the liberty to say something about your post and your blog, be it a positive or a negative feedback.

That being said, for some people, a blog is still a very personal thing. Yes, you're allowed to read and post your comments, yes, you're allowed to criticize and speak your mind but please know your limit. So what if the blogger is someone who does things that are against your liking or convictions ? Speak your piece and let them know what you think about it. If they do not appreciate your feedback, then let it be, there's no need for name calling and personal attacks. Worse than that, they're people who hide behind an obsecure nick and start criticizing bloggers and the things they do. How childish and dumb.

To those anonymous critics and childish people trolling other people's blog and calling names, here's something you should learn.

Firstly, Dude ! Grow up and learn to own up. If you have an opinion, say it and own up to it. Leave your name or your online nick (the one that you use to form your online identity, not "anonymous" duh !), your e-mail or whatever contact so that people know who you are. If you're a blogger yourself, leave your blog address too. If you wish to remain anonymous, then don't even bother commenting cos whatever you said just reflects on how immature and how "fake" you are.

Secondly, get your facts right before you start saying anything. Just because you've been reading this person's blog does not mean you know everything about that person. Criticizing someone based on your assumptions about them only shows how shallow a person you are. What's worse is when you don't even know the whole truth and you start dissing away. My advice is, be careful of the words you choose to use. You might end up having to eat them back later.

Thirdly, don't keep trolling on that particular blog if you don't get the respond you wanted. Do your part, say your piece and that's it. If the blogger replies in a way that it requires more feedbacks from you, then perhaps you can state your argument further. On the other hand, if the answer from the blogger is definite and it doesn't require further input from you or if he/she decide to delete/ignore your comments then you've done your part, move on. Don't flood their tag-boards with accusations or start calling people names and hurl insults. That's just so childish. If you can't participate in an argument maturely, chances are, even if your argument is completely true and correct. You would be discrediting your own comments by your own childish behaviour.

Forthly, know your position. You're just a visitor. You came, you read their posts and you make comments. You don't own that blog and you have no control on what the blogger says or do. Disregard of whether you're invited to read that blog or you just came across that blog through other website/blog links, you are still just a visitor. You don't have the right to say or do anything except than what the owner of the blog has allowed you to do. If you don't like what was said, you have a choice not to come back and visit their blogs again. You have no right to demand the owner of the blog to change, delete or make any changes to their blog just because you don't like it.

Fifth point, stop trying to pull more people to visit their blogs just so that you can have more people siding you. Gathering more people to make criticism on a particular blog just shows that you're unable to stand on your own arguments and you're too cowardly to face it on your own. Having more people siding you doesn't help your argument whatsoever except than letting other people know of your lame attempt to try and intimidate the blogger.

Sixth point, understand that ultimately the power is in the hands of the blog owner. It's their blog, they own it and they have total control over it. They have the power to fully manipulate your comments and turn them against you (if they're evil), the power to turn their commenting system off, the power to delete their post making it like the whole argument has never happened and more. Heck, if they're really evil, they could post in a way that it would totally piss you off and continue to diss you without giving you a slightest chance of retaliation. More than that, some of them even have the power to track down who you are in person and file a real lawsuit against you based on the things you said in their blog. I've personally witness this before so beware. Don't think that just by hiding behind an anonymous nick can save you from being identified.

There are more but I'm too tired to list them all. Now go and chew on those mentioned above. For goodness sake, the next time before you hit the comment button, grow up and act maturely as a responsible netizen. People will respect more about what you said that way. Goodnight all.

posted by N'Drew @ 1:00 AM | |

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Bitter Reviews

I think that it is very hard to be an "unbiased" person. Unless we are reviewing or dealing with issues that we have no conflict with, we are easily inclined to lean on a certain side either knowingly or unknowingly when we try to review something that pertains to our ideas, opinions and experiences. Somewhere along the way, we are affected by what we went through, by what people say and we start to form our own opinion towards certain things. When the issue finally arrives, these are the things that tip the balance of having a pure, unbiased review about it.

Perhaps I'm trying to generalize by saying all that but I do feel strongly about this. Whenever I read reviews or critics on some of the books or movies that I enjoyed, I can't help but finding hints of biased opinions in their reviews or criticism. Sometimes, it's understandable if a person should mention from what angle is he looking at when he is making that criticism but most don't and I presume, most are not free or bothered to do so anyway because they have their rights to form their own opinions and they don't feel the need to justify themselves.

What if everyone agree with their opinions ? Does it automatically make them right ? Is there any standard is which we can measure their review against ? In most cases, there isn't but then, why is it that we would still look at reviews before we make our decision in getting that book or going to that show ?

Hmm ... okay. I've just tied myself in a knot. Anyone care to err ... untie this mess ?

posted by N'Drew @ 1:34 PM | |

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Still Here, Just A Bit Quieter Than Normal

I have nothing much to say. Part of the reason it's because everything are just so mundane and boring. Sometimes, I even felt a bit depressed with the fact that I still can't get a job. That being said, I haven't been wasting too much of my time. Still browsing through jobs and sending out job applications. More than that, I'm starting to spend time practicing on my drum and trying to cultivate some good habits.

That being said, being unemployed is still a very bad thing. Firstly, I don't have much to spend and the money I got from my part time job is almost all used up now. Secondly, I hate having to answer everyone I meet, telling them that I'm STILL looking for a job. I seems like words are getting around and if they haven't been asking me, then they would be asking my parents about me being perpetually unemployed. *sigh*

I think I felt more pressured by people asking me about my unemployment than me being unemployed itself. Isskkk ... just wait and see. I'll get a job soon, and a darn good one too.

Pfffttt ...

posted by N'Drew @ 1:19 AM | |

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Music & Escapism

I find relieve in music. Either by playing, listening or by singing. Though I'm not a great musician and people say I sing like a duck, I can't help but sometimes be dependent on music to find release from all the crappy stuff that happens to me. I guess to put it another way, music is my form of escapism.

That being said, it's strange because most of what I listen to are mostly mainstream stuff. I mean, usually for people who are really into music, they don't usually go for mainstream music. Part of the reason I heard from them were because most of the mainstream music are shallow and filled with cliché. I can understand why because in order to appeal to the general public, you can't help but have songs that are easy to understand, nice catchy tunes and easy to remember lyrics hence, causing most of them to suffer from lack of depth and originality.

That being said, does it makes me a shallow person for listening to mainstream stuff or is it more of a matter of different people having different preferences in music and somehow mine just happened to fall somewhere along the line of what's found in mainstream music. Or perhaps, it's due to my lack of musical knowledge that contribute to my lack of diversity and depth in this area. Hmm ... something to chew on.

I'm still experiementing with different genre of music and sadly, I'm still unable to accept certain types of music. Though it's not entirely a bad thing in failing to appreciate certain genre of music, yet I wish to someday be more open minded about it. It's still a struggle for me to keep awake when I'm listening to Norah Jones though without a doubt, she is an excellent jazz singer.

:P

posted by N'Drew @ 12:34 AM | |

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Haunted

I'm haunted by the thoughts that maybe I'm overestimating myself. It doesn't help that whenever I sleep, I dream of having people to pour out to and waking up only to find myself having to face reality on my own. Such life and silly dreams. *sigh*

I promised myself to be strong and I will be.

Whatever it takes ...

posted by N'Drew @ 1:30 PM | |

Saturday, April 09, 2005

The Call

I finally got the call today. The lady from my first interview called and as much as I hoped that it will be a positive answer, it wasn't so. They told me that they've decided to hire a person who's more senior and are better experienced than me. *sigh*

I don't have much to say, I guess if I'm in their position, I would've done the same. So it's back to square one (again !).

Issskkk ....

posted by N'Drew @ 12:22 AM | |

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Some Changes

Played around with my blog layout. Nothing big, but then I wonder why it took me hours just to come up with this. Isskkkk ... my html skills is going from bad to worse. Anyhow, this is all done in Dreamweaver and umm ... it's not perfect yet, but I'm too tired to want to make anymore changes.

Now if only I can fix the side bar so that it'll span all the way down.

*scratch head*

posted by N'Drew @ 3:36 PM | |

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

The Sometimes "Greyish" Sky

When storms gather and rainy clouds overshadow the earth, the sky turns grey and dark. These are the days where I longed for moments when the sky was painted with shades of blue and white. There were times I wished that I will be able to see beyond the dark clouds and be assured that a bright and warm sky is just above those clouds. To have patience, trusting that light will one day penetrate the darkness and brings forth that which I've always longed for.

I've never demanded for perfection. I don't need an endless clear blue sky spreading through the horizon to be satisfied. Even if it's just a gap between those dark grey clouds, a glimpse of that which is to come, a small indication of what I've always anticipated, it would suffice. An assurance that one day, all these darkness will fade away and the dark clouds that once brought forth such darkness will turn into beautiful white patches that complements a clear blue sky.

I'm still anticipating, still hoping. Even without knowing when or where, I pray that when it is time to unveil that which I desire. It will be one that is magnificently display and beheld in pure adoration.

posted by N'Drew @ 1:12 AM | |

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Jinxed

I think my MSN is jinxed. Everyone I greet in MSN ended up getting disconnected.

Or am I that repulsive ?

*sniff*

Update: 10 mins later, someone responded and then more of them responded (without getting disconnected). Whee ~~ :D

posted by N'Drew @ 11:50 PM | |

How Did It Go ?

Sorry for the late update. I've been kinda busy and all. :P Anyhow, back to the question. How did my 2nd interview go ?

I met with one of the director this time. Another one and a half hour of drilling session. Compared to my first interview, this was more tense and also more serious. In fact, I don't even remember much of what I said after the interview. As usual I try not to dwell on it too much lest I end up strangling myself for the mistakes I made.

When I got to the interview, the first thing I was required to do was to answer an assessment paper. Two pages of objective questions asking me about my personality and the type of person I am. The questions were very similar to a book I read before about human temperament so when I was doing it, I had a rough idea on which answer I'm supposed to pick. After that, there's another page consisting of subjective questions. These were mainly about my previous experiences in handling different situations and my opinions of what could be done when I'm placed in a certain scenario.

To be truthful, I struggled for a while when I was given the assessment paper. I had to make a choice between giving answers that will increase my chances of getting the job or giving truthful, honest and down to earth answers pertaining to my personality and experience (which in my opinion, may not be completely suitable for the job). The struggle came because I knew exactly what the purpose of the assessment paper was all about and I could've wrote some very impressive stuff just so that I can get the job.

Strangely, I ended up choosing to be honest instead. I guess it's better to gives them an accurate picture about who I am and what I can do rather than giving them a false expectation of what I can offer to their company. Right ? Right ?? Right ??? Acckkk !!! Did I just ruined my chance of getting the job ?

*cringe*

Anyhow, the miserable part would be this. They said they'll contact me again next week to let me know whether I'll get it or not (another week of waiting *sniff*) and if I do, then I'll have to go for the third and final interview. What ? Another interview ??? *faint*

Yep, that's about it. One more week of waiting. I'll probably go crazy every time an unidentified caller calls my mobile. >_<

posted by N'Drew @ 3:16 PM | |

About Me

andrew-28-m'sian-christian-perpetually single-half banana (can't read or write chinese)-phlegmatic melancholy-eldest son-self contradictory-thinks too much-photographer & musician wannabe-corporate slave-usually blur-food crazy.

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